Week 5 Rankings

Apparently several of the league members aren't the brightest bulbs there are (insert any other cliche here), because they think I make the rankings up and then call me out for where they're ranked in emails. That's simply not true, my job is to tally the rankings and then find comments that fit where they're ranked. Don't hate the messenger.. it might take another season for four for guys like Perrins to understand this.. he did after all, trade GINO SMITH FOR CODY HOFFMAN and then claimed Hoffman as an All-American candidate. Yeah, he's scoring 8 ppg in our league. Sweet.

12. Big Joe--0-5. Changing his name in order of a revival of sorts.. tough to revive somebody that's never lived but there needs to be a change of pace here. Wondering how long he'll be the league doormat or if we need to change the doormat's name to.. Big Joe. "You're the Big Joe of the league" might be a new saying. Stay hot, Big Joe.

11. Zach-- 1-4. Struggling and putting guys on the block. Lunt's down with an injury, will he get his job back? Eddy Lacy losing carries in a loaded Alabama backfield. Things aren't looking good for him right now, but it's not because he's not trying. Needs some solid FA pickups and a big draft. Who knows.. maybe he's playing the wrong football?

10. Perrins-- 2-3. GM of the year still working 8 PPG Cody Hoffman into his star studded line-up. Just for reference, last week Geno Smith had over 70 points.. at 8 PPG it'll take Hoffman another 4 weeks to get there and we've played 5 weeks already. Naturally, this doesn't stop Perrins from talking trash, he reminds you of the little rat down the street that just doesn't learn and really needs somebody to shut him up. Perrins is the fake Don King, I'm Rocky Balboa.

9. Joe Dub-- 2-3. Forgot a league member in voting, I released information that he's from Cudahy.. thinks aren't looking good for him right now. Last week he signed a TE to play RB and the league got cranky despite them voting down any rule that said differently, thankfully they haven't closely examined his Dexter McCluster clone on the roster.. thankfully he's 9th so it doesn't really matter right now. Lets just hope he wakes up and doesn't turn into a zombie.

8. Josh-- 2-3. Remodeling his house yet has taken time from him being on top of the league.. remember the last time he was near the top he had a 1 man band? Graham Harrell. Ha, that clown can't even hand the ball off right now. Hilarious. Lots of bye weeks and lots of youth on this roster now, might be an ugly end to the season.

7. Scuba-- 2-3. Some have him much higher, but a league member (Joe Dub) forgot to vote for him. Sure it was accidental, but is this the type of action that creates some fireworks in the league. Does Joe Dub want Scuba's nickname? Or maybe some of the young talent he's harboring on that roster? Joe hasn't come out to defend himself, but Scuba won't take this lightly.

6. Brian-- 3-2. Might be quitting on the season, put Justin Hunter on the block and looks like he might try to reload for the future. Can't say I blame him, the youth is bleak and he knows what it takes to get back on top of the league after his good finish last year. More than you can say for his favorite NFL team, the Vikings. Perhaps, he shouldn't quit.. but sit down and watch this.

5. Cherns-- 3-2. The mouth from the south was MIA this week, as he is most weeks. It's what he does. It's who he is. Too busy for life. Going to burn himself out with this work thing, needs to realize he alone can't carry America on his back. He needs to realize he has some serious talent on his squad and get them to produce week in and week out. A lot of gaudy averages and projections, youth and experience.. he might be priming himself up for a run.

4. Crass-- 3-2. Also hanging around the top of the leader board primed to make a run. Not a lot of depth on the squad but Steadman Bailey might go bananas at anytime like he did last week. Epic week. The rest of the team does just enough to get him wins, but I'd be surprised if he finished in a money bowl game. I'd say he's an optical illusion.

3. Chad-- 4-1. Somehow defeated Bill, is 4-1 and only 3rd in the rankings? Only 1 first place vote? This league has some haters, but that's what haters do.. haters hate. Denard Robinson, Montee Ball, Jonathan Franklin, Terrence Williams all lead this squad as seniors so it might be awhile before he's back on the top of the league. He has to reap the benefits as soon as possible so he brought in some motivation to take on Perrins this week, who is actually projected to win and talking smack all week.

2. T-Raz-- 4-1. Will T-Raz win and really give some of his winnings to Perrins because of the Geno Smith for Cody Hoffman deal? There are rumors circulating there was a secret handshake for this trade, but it'll be tough to prove without being able to review cell phone records and secretly KGB recorded conversations. League officials are reviewing the trade and all these records, no stone will be left unturned to see if this was a cheating violation. Week 9 might be the best time to knock him off again with Austin and Smith on a bye week.

1. Billy-- 4-1. Beatdown on national TV, game of the week.. ABC/ESPN had Herbstreit in the house with Musberger and nothing changed in the rankings. He's got a real voodoo spell on the league to keep him on top right now, is this deck of cards crumbling? Braxton looked human and the RBs weren't electric as usual. Got a big night from Marquis Lee last night, so he's still throwing haymakers and not going to let go of the #1 spot easily.