Team Preview: 1st Place "Scuba Steve"

Am I crazy? Perhaps, I am not the smartest man around and never have been accused as such. Scuba is coming to the league taking over a once depleted roster, bare bones, full of Michigan players and transfers that amounted to.. well... nothing about the same as Rich Rodriguez accomplished there. Then, after one season, he could potentially be first. The league may investigate this turnaround, it's John Calipari like, and everybody except the NCAA apparently knows where there's smoke.. there's fire.

Speaking of fire, where's there is fire and gunshots; there is often Seagal. He is everywhere. I wasn't sure which Seagal movie to use, but I went with one of my favorites, at least, one that I knew some of the plot "On Deadly Ground". The plot is something like, an oil company makes money on Eskimo ground and has faulty equipment. An oil rig blows up, and they try to cover corners, but Seagal knows about their dirty tactics. Seagal, naturally, one with nature undergoes a vision quest and learns the truth. The dirty oil company comes to the village blazing and angers Seagal (UH OH). Seagal eludes the bad guys while killing any that stand in his way til he gets to the top and drowns the dude in his own oil... AND BLOWS IT UP! The best part? He doesn't get charged for any crimes AND delivers a speech to end the movie at an Alaska state convention. That, my friends, is a movie.

Huh? Who cares about Scuba's roster.. I was just in a zone remembering "On Deadly Ground," how does that compare to Scuba's roster? Well, like I said, Scuba came from nowhere just like Seagal in the movie, just there.. minding his own business. Then bam, he's in place and has to take down the rest of the league trying to keep the new guy down. He's allegedly undergone a visionquest which told him to trade for Robert Griffin. He became one with the land and now has WR's like Jermaine Kearse and Alshon Jeffrey. He's as fast as a deer on the ground with Kniles Davis. So, he's kind of Seagal or Norris in Walker, Texas Ranger.

Best Player: Alshon Jeffrey
Breakout Player: Robert Griffin
Most Overrated Player: Jermaine Kearse

You HAVE to watch this unreal clip, I understand it's like 5 minutes.. haha, but it is so hilarious. By the way, who ends a bar fight with the hand slap game for a free punch? Seagal might be the only guy on the planet, thankfully he's so fast.

Team Review: 8th Place "Scuba Steve"

5-9.  114 points per game.

The noob, the rookie taking over perennial league doormat had a string of success this season. He surprised the league, but then, the questions started.. his sister, happens to be married to a top league contender. Could they be helping each other out? Could he be receiving unfair league advice? Rumors persist that after Congress slams the BCS; they might work on this dangerous tandem to see if they are in collaboration. Barry Bonds thinks they might be.

What Went Right: 2 and 3 game winning streaks were the 5 wins, showing that when he's rolling.. he's rolling. Went bananas for 182 points in a week and had a few others over 140. Ryan Mallett, Knile Davis, Leonard Hankerson, and Alshon Jeffrey had great seasons for the squad.

What Went Wrong: 2 2-game losing streaks and a 5-game losing streak ended this joyride. There was nobody near PT ready at QB and the RB's would be terrible if it weren't for Davis. He needs a lot of help at the position.

What the boosters are saying: "We're glad the former owner gave up ownership to get married. It's really helped out the program, and we're on the upswing. Now, our team has more than Michigan scrubs that transfer to other schools or just can't play D1 football."