Don't worry people; I am still alive. I've just been busy with school, life, and so on. Our college fantasy football season is near the end of the road. Here are the match-ups:
Toilet Bowl: #12 Zach vs. #11 P90X
--Who will win the #1 pick? I mean.. the game. Not that it matters, neither team has drafted an impact guy yet. Wes Lunt could have been the guy but then he kept getting hurt and who knows where he'll show up on the depth chart next year. Rumors are that P90X is too busy for the league and might be leaving next year. Only time will tell.
The We Pretend We're Around but We're Not Bowl Sponsored by Life
#10 Cherns vs. #9 Josh
--Are there 2 guys that could pay any less attention to the league? Cherns has been hit or miss for the last 6 years of his life; you won't know what you get from him until he shows up.... or doesn't. When he does show up, great time.. but those times are about as common as Haley's Comet. Josh wakes up at 4 AM to play video games and completely forgets he has a fantasy football team.
The We Swim Like A Rock Bowl Sponsored by The Titanic
#8 Crass vs. #7 Brian
--Both of these teams were in $ contention at one time. Not so much anymore. Crass nearly made a postseason deal with the #2 ranked team, but they never agreed to terms. Will it hurt him in the future? Doubtful, but it helped him in his bowl game!
The Worse Bowl To Be In Sponsored by All the MAC Schools
#6 Joe Dub vs. #5 Billy
--Could one of these guys end up in the money? Highly unlikely. They're one game away. One big bowl game away from $.. a tough spot to be in. A down year for Billy and a big year from Joe Dub. Billy dealt QB Colin Klein to Chad after the bowl games started causing another bowl trade deadline meltdown throughout the league.
The 715 Bowl Sponsored by Lounge Around
#4 T-Raz vs. #3 Scuba
--Scuba made a late charge while T-Raz couldn't hold on when Geno Smith faltered down the stretch. Who will win this match up for maybe even a shot at #2? Big game tonight needed from Geno Smith and T-Raz could be in $ for 2 years in a row.
The Grandaddy of Them All Sponsored by The Rest of the Chumps in the League
#2 Chad vs. #1 GMOTY
--Venom type match-up. Former neighbors, former friends, battling it out for the top spot. This isn't one of those chump buddy buddy hug each other match-ups that we see so often now in sports.. this is like Barry vs. Bret in the squared circle. Carlos Polk and Ka'Deem Carey nearly equaled each other at the RB slot. Trade almost traded for George Wynn to bench Polk (shoulda pulled the trigger and benched Franklin instead). Perrins with another big game from the Rutgers defense while Chad got next to nothing from J. Franklin and Terrence Williams despite a combined game score in the mid-70s. Could the GMOTY really win the award? We shall see.
#11 Fat Joe vs. #12 Zach
Projection: Zach 96- Fat Joe 84
Actual: Fat Joe 112- Zach 73
Edgar has one of the best HS teams in the state of Wisconsin year in and year out.. at least for their school size. That doesn't matter in fantasy sports as Zach found out this season. A rough start and then a rough finish to his first season as Joe blasted him 112-73 in the Toilet Bowl. Joe, fat as he is, had balanced scoring with EJ Manuel, Jared Abbrederis, Rashard Greene, Quinn Sharp, the Bama defense, and Nick Toon all going over 10 points. Zach was only able to get that production from Brock Osweiler and Le'Veon Bell. Both teams will need to re-assess rosters and should be more competitive now that they understand the league and how it works.
If this game were a JCVD movie it would be: Hard Target
#10 Perrins vs. #9 The Commish
Projection: The Commish 102- Perrins 87
Actual: The Commish 133-Perrins 85
Whoa. This team, finally showed it's true colors.. too bad for the commish all the season was gone before they finally busted out. Wilson 17, Polk 20, Gannaway FIFTY-FOUR, Hopkins 16, Costanzo 11. Perrins also got a 54 spot from Gino Smith, Fuller had 17 and then the next highest? Iowa defense with 5. Seriously. The good news for The Commish is Wilson, Hopkins and Costanzo are back. The bad news? Gannaway was a senior and Polk declared. Neat. Another lame finish in the middle of the pack. Perrins? He's garbage.
If this game were a JCVD movie it'd be: Kickboxer
Real life bowl season? Pretty boring. Who wants to watch LSU and Alabama play again? Anybody outside of either one of those states? Even the rest of the SEC thinks they're cheaters.. and that's saying something.. right, Cam? Errr... Cam's dad, you know, since Cam had "no idea" what was going on. The fact remains, the $EC is the minor league's for the NFL.. it's like the NBDL, except they make way more in the $EC than minor league baseball players and the NBDL do. Oh well. Regardless, our fantasy league isn't the SEC. Sure, we have guys that love speed and are obsessed with it (Cherns), we have constant rebuilding (Me), and we have teams that sell out the farm but win.. unlike the Brewers (Bill). So, where does that leave us this year? How about 2 teams that have never battled for the title in this slug fest.. but first.. lets start with the Toilet Bowl.
These bowl games will be brought to you by God's Hammer, Tim Tebow.
Toilet Bowl:
#12 Fat Joe (2-11) vs. #11 Zach (2-11).
2 rookies. 2 rough starts to the season, but both teams have SOME talent. Zach is loaded at the RB position with Eddy Lacy, Marcus Coker, and some clowns from West Virginia. If Osweiler comes back, he could be a tough out next year. Fat Joe's roster is a bit less interesting, but he has Ray Graham and Henry Josey. He'll need major help at QB and WR to compete. So what does that mean for this year? Well... not a whole lot other than Joe will finish the season ranked where he is now and Zach has a chance to jump a spot to 10th.
Zach wins 96-84 in a slopfest.
#10 Perrins (2-11) vs. #9 Chad (4-9)
Well, talk about a letdown on both teams. Last year they both thought they were money consideration, this year they thought the same.. what are these two idiots playing for now? How about 9th place? Even if Chad wins, he'll finish 9th.. losses? Still may finish 9th. Wow, sounds fun. Perrins is playing for draft position here, a win would pretty much guarantee 10th.. a loss and he could finish 12th. Some say that he's the most corrupt, dishonest player in the league, so it'll be interesting to see what he does.
Chad's team has lost 3 straight games heading into the bowl. Neat. He thinks he has some of the best QBs in the game and has solid RBs, yet, Defense and WRs kill his program year in and year out. This year was no different. Perrins has Matt Barkley... and.... not much else. At least not this year, next year he could be a surprise with James White, but it's not next year.
Chad gets just enough with a 102-87 win over Perrins.
#8 Billy (7-6) vs. #7 Cherns (8-5)
How the mighty have fallen. Billy won it all (again) last year, but like his job.. it's gone down in flames. As the economy goes, so Billy goes. Right now, it's not good.. Cherns? Usually, he's good for a few zingers every year but this year something happened. He disappeared. Not just his team (like usual) but he actually is gone. Nobody knows if he's alive or if it's just a ghost running his body. The league would like his spirit and fire back, but to do that he has to not let himself get totally sucked in by his job. In fact, I almost promise he'll send an email shortly saying, "Thanks for the rankings, I just looked to see who I was going to beat.. I didn't have time to read the write up." Then he'll add, "I actually have a real job, not like the rest of you bums." He'll do this while sitting at home when he could be totally reading this article, playing video games and chewing.. but instead, he'll force himself to work. And he calls me the loser.
I actually think Bill wins a boring game... because I don't know if Cherns can get a full starting line-up in for the bowl games. Final score? Who cares.. (Ironic how Alabama celebrates and Tim Tebow calling them classy. Funny)
#6 Joe-Dub (8-5) vs. #5 Crass (8-5)
Should be a really fun game, don't know if either team has a shot at money or not.. but it's going to be a good contest. Joe has been getting better year by year and Crass is near the top of the league every season. Not a big deal to him, it's just what he does. Joe is consistent, he has guys that just play the game the right way.. really reminds me of the Badgers basketball team or the Packers WRs. Crass has a few stars on his team and gets just enough production from elsewhere. I think Crass lucked out having Oklahoma State 3rd and not facing LSU in the title game. This propels him to a win with Brandon Weeden doing his thing.
#4 Scuba (9-4.. 4 straight Ws) vs. #3 Josh (9-4)
This could be a huge game, winner COULD potentially jump to 2nd.. Brian would have to lose for that to happen. I suppose T-Raz could lose and drop to 3rd.. but I have a harder time seeing that happen. Scuba has turned a terrible program into a potential knocking on the door to a league championship. Thanks to a stupid trade last year by Chad (sending Griffin to Scuba) he's used that to jump near the top. Miller, Bernard, and Pead do just enough in the backfield to get Scuba over the top. Josh gets points from Landry Jones (been bad down the stretch), Montee Ball, Justin Blackmon, and the LSU defense. Any off weeks from these guys and it's a loss.. which makes it interesting because they all have good match-ups in the bowl games. I have a hard time seeing any of them slowed down and that's why I think they do just enough to win.
Josh 123-Scuba 113.
#2 Brian (9-4, 2 straight Ws) vs. #1 T-Raz (10-3, 3 straight Ws)
Same division. Maybe this fantasy league is like the SEC. If you can't win your division, do you deserve to play for the title? Will this title game form a rule change that automatically makes it best team from one division play the other or if the 2 best teams are in the same division can they continue to face each other in the title game? Interesting dilemma here in fantasyland. I wouldn't be surprised if Brian gets the W here.. T-Raz has an interesting situation with some QBs that can play, but RB and WR worry me. Brian gets a good QB match-up but loses out with Trent Richardson vs. LSU and his WRs can be hit or miss despite their good per game averages. This should be a very good game, but I don't think it'll be as entertaining as the #3 vs. #4 game but that's just me.
T-Raz 117-Brian 107
