Team Preview: 3rd Place Cherns is Fast And Furious

To the tune of all "The Fast and Furious" movies here comes ........ I didn't know which one to pick, so I lumped them all together. I haven't even seen the new one or Tokyo Drift, but if Tyrese, Vin Diesel, and Paul Walker are in either of them.. they are sure to be bad. Paul Walker reminds me of the kid in a play that's never watched a movie before, never acted, and has no idea what "voice inflection" means. In fact, I've watched movies before, never acted, and have an idea what voice inflection means, which sets me about Paul Walker on the stage. And that's bad, because I am a terrible actor. AWFUL. Sadly, Paul has to fight Tyrese AND Vin to be the worst actor in the movies; an honor which they aren't willing to share. I think they got together in their trailer doing the movie and tried to one-up each other's poor acting skills. I really do. Too bad they don't let Ludacris in on their dirty little secret.. either they kept it from him or he has too much integrity to botch the films.

Regardless, before I spend an entire post discussing Paul Walker's skills, lets talk about somebody whose mouth is Fast and Furious.. our early season projected 3rd place finisher, Cherns. Coming into the league full of sound and fury signifying nothing his mouth hasn't stopped moving. He's not going to slow down anytime soon (like Vin in his 3 second car) because he has T-Magic, Taylor Martinez at QB, LaMichael James, Vick Ballard, Leveon Bell all at the RB position. He, like Walker's dialogue, needs help at WR where he has bodies... but little quality. That will be a position of concern for Cherns entering the draft.

Based on The Fast and Furious movies.. Cherns is Paul Walker. He's an outside that worked in a field to help him (football office) then he left bitterly and joined this league (Vin's gang) where his motives are questioned repeatedly, yet, he seems to rise to the top as a leader. Sadly, the league doesn't have anybody as poorly developed as Tyrese's character to become his sidekick and there is no real muscle man like Vin to lead the charge. Cherns also seems a tad depressed that the league doesn't have a female to fall in love with.. I guess that'll have to change. He probably gets bored going to weddings as a stag.

Best Player: LaMichael James (Last year's Heisman Winner)
Breakout Player: Marques Wilson, WR, Washington State
Most Overrated Player: John Brantley, QB, Florida

Cherns is the kind of guy that may take these quotes and use them in his emails this year, so check back here often to see if he's stealing material.

Team Review: 4th Place "The Mouth"

8-6. 124 points per game.

In a decision that may make one or all the following things happen: Cherns cry, Cherns quit the league, Cherns challenge everybody to a fight, Cherns to proclaim victory anyway, or Cherns to send out a spiteful email.. he was 4th by 2 points.

What Went Right: A 2-game winning streak to start the year and a 3-game winning streak to end the year were solid. Over 140 points 5 times including over 170 the first two games of the season. He had the Heisman trophy winner on his team, LaMichael James, and he also had Clay and Leshoure at the position to end the season.

What Went Wrong: His WR's are featured on a milk carton, the CIA says they were last seen leaving the Pakistani hills after they took down Osama. There wasn't much production from the vaunted Florida defense and the QB's were as bad as the WR's. That being said, he was still close to being a winner.

What are the Boosters saying: "Underachieving coach. No doubt about that, this team had talent and he couldn't find his way into money at all. We're very disappointed about this.